Cranky Blog

The intrepid gang about to embark on a beer tasting journey known the world over as the Placerville Bell Tower BrewFest: Micro-Brew Stroll, this being the 9th Annual.

This is where our party started.  The upper end of the stroll next to Tortilla Flats where “Trac 7″, a smooth rocking band was kicking off the afternoon in style.

Some excellent beer was swigged and discussed in this sunny location.  As you can see, some serious beer discussions ensued.

We tasted beer along the main street through historic Placerville enjoying the Gold Rush architecture and the beer.  Our goal was to work out way through the 46 Brewers present and pouring.  Of course, you’re given a small glass and rarely a full pour so don’t get the wrong idea.  We always eat a full meal before we go so we don’t end up dropping our glass, a tragic end to a fun event which is roundly booed on the street when it happens.

Along the way to the Bell Tower, we found another two man band, a guitar player and a box percussionista and since the shameless interlopers aren’t in the program, I don’t have their name.  Probably lose my press badge for next year over this!  The ladies were enjoying the beer and things were heating up and the temperature cooled down.

As we progressed, things were getting weird.  Grandmas with un-grandma-like t-shirts, and people sticking their tongues out at each other.  Heck there were even dancing hippies and anyone can see what a few beer samples can do to a Second Grade teacher!

So as the sun dropped down behind the Sierra Foothills, the Bill Magee Blues Band delivered some hot blues licks.  The crowd was a little more restrained than last year but it sure wasn’t the quality of the music!  Bill Magee BB was hot!

Of course there was dancing in the street as the last call went out and the last pour was drained from the glasses.  People weren’t ready to stop the party so Bill Magee kept things hopping.  I think this is the first actual picture of a woman dancing causing a young man’s head to explode.

And then the beer ran dry and the music played out and the 9th Annual Placerville Bell Tower BrewFest cme to a happy end.  And a lonely moon watched over hangtown as the streets emptied.

Oh California’s government is so inept it ought to be run out of town and new elections held immediately.  We Californians are observing this mess with a grim cynicism that may never be wiped off our sun-damaged mugs. 

Each year the Democrats and the Republicans fight with each other about the budget in our state and each year it takes months for them to play nicely together and submit a budget to the Governor that can be signed into law.  And every year, state contractors are threatened with being paid with IOU’s.  And every year in the 11^th hour and 59^th minute before fiscal collapse the two sides come together and each side claims a partial victory and then they go on with passing new and endless laws creating new programs and restrictions and salary and benefit packages they can’t afford in the long term, but don’t have the juevos to say no to.

Each year that this happens, and each year the Governor sounds the warning bell at the Capitol, and each year he sounds like the boy who cried wolf as all the dire predictions don’t come true.  Problem is this year it seems that the wolf (financial disaster) is really in the flock (budget) and all his wailing isn’t getting the townspeople (the legislators and citizens) to get off their dead asses to do anything about it.

A budget deficit of 26 billion is a lot of dough and I can only imagine that it’s going to grow with the level of layoffs that are happening and the pay reductions that are happening and the dropping property values that are continuing down-down-down.  It’s a disaster and we’ve only just bounced off the latest ledge on our downward tumble to some unknown bottom.

For all the talk of recovery, California ain’t seeing it yet folks and the state government’s hideous management of the state finances is only making it worse.  The annual mishandling of the budget means that in this fiscal crisis, the walls are tumbling down and the chickens are coming home to roost and they’re being eaten by a wolf.  Arnold Schwarzzeneger, for all his cries of warning, hasn’t proven to be any kind of  political terminator because he has failed miserably year-after-year to motivate either party to act in a timely way or to motivate the “people of Caleeeefonia” to respond to the impending crisis.

So, on second thought, let’s recall them all and NOT replace them!

Our group pre-pour.

(I will post this pic as soon as I receive permission from my beer fest compadres)

Our group didn’t dwell long on the ordeal of getting our glasses, instead, we headed out into the 100+ degree heat to find our first sample.  It’s funny how people stay on the sidewalks even though the road has been blocked to enable pedestrians under the influence of hops to walk at will.  It took about an hour for most of the people to venture off the sidewalk into the street but I am proud that our group recognized this singular freedom and braved the center of the road right from the start.

Our group did not agree on all beers but I am including all of the reviews I managed to write down.  Mind you, I took notes, snapped pictures, danced badly on toes and drank a lot of beer.  While the fact that I managed to take any notes at all is a testament to my agility and my commitment to beer journalism – the combination undoubtedly interfered with my journalistic concentration. 

I imagine that my early reviews are better than my later ones; in fact, I’ve come across some coasters for beers I don’t remember drinking at all.  But that is the point of the whole exercise, to taste all 40 breweries in about 3 hours, a tall order even with short pours and altogether likely to dull one’s memory.

Stone Brewing – Our first beers of the day.  AHHHH, an excellent IPA but the volunteers barely poured enough beer in the glass to develop a head.  Even so, the Stone Brewing IPA was my favorite of the festival.  I readily acknowledge that it being my first beer may have given Stone’s beer an unfair advantage.

Black Diamond – IPA was not nearly as good as Stone’s but to their credit the beer was COLD and they gave a full pour!  Aces to you at Black Diamond, next time add a few more hops!

Moylans – I had a Scottish Ale which was really good.  A little sweet, but a nice change of pace.

Trumer – This was a Czech ale, v ery light and nobody liked it much.  Can a beer get jet lag coming from Eastern Europe?

Avery  - This beer is from Boulder Colorado and besides being a bunch of short pouring SOB’s, the IPA was weak.  I think they need to use more than a tablespoon of hops.  Now, one of our group LOVED their Porter so props on the Porter Avery and get back to work on your IPA.  I am expecting better things next year.

Firestone – I tried their DBA which was good, but not superior.  They’re from Paso Robles so it’s wine country, “Sideways”, all of that, no great beer tradition over there.  But my cousin likes their beer so perhaps I need to give it a second chance next year.  He is a beer connoisseur after all.

Anderson Valley Brewing Company – Great IPA, hoppy, great blend nice color.  Outstanding Boonville!  Too bad you’re so far from civilization though.

Summer Solstice – Didn’t make a note about it but someone in the group liked it I think. Gave it an A+ if I recall so it was probably good stuff.

Tallec – From South Lake Tahoe and they gave me a great pour of Amber.  I highly recommended their Amber, truly an excellent brew!

Then we entered another world.  A place called Gothic Rose Antiques and Curiosities, see part II for a little detail on that incredible shop.  Right next to a place that was closed for the brew fest, jeers to you “Papa’s Spuntini”!

Lagunitas – Owee what a great couple of beers they brought along!  They had a superb Pale Ale and IPA.  Felicidades Lagintas!  Cerveza muy Buenas!  I get a little bilingual when I drink lots of beers.

Gordon Biersch – I’ve loved their amber beer for many years and I was so hoppy to taste the same quality I remembered.  They also gave me a keychain bottle opener which may have swayed my judgment, I’m a sucker for bribes.

Mad River Porter – was pouring a good IPA and a Porter that one in our group gave an A+, no small complement!  The Mad River is way out in the boonies so I doubt I’ll ever get to their brewery.

Buckbean Black –They gave out key chains which was nice.  They poured out a “Noddy” which was OK, only rated a B+.

Blue Frog – Out of Santa Cruz served something I didn’t write down but I remember complementing the guy on it at the time so it must have been good.

Grand Teton Brewing Co. – Jackson Hole Wyoming.  I went there once when I was a kid, it was a little tourist trap where fake cowboys staged gun fights in the streets.  I say all this - as if you care - but I can’t remember if their beer was any good and my notes only listed the name Bitch Creek where I’ve been without a paddle thank you for reminding me.

Oskar Blues – I had a Scotch Ale again, very smooth taste.

Longboard – I had their pale ale which I’ve enjoyed in the past but it didn’t compare favorably with all of the other great beer I was having.  Sorry Long Board but you came up short this time.

Drifter  (which I wrote as Dafter that may bespeak my state of inebriation at that point in the fest) – Pale Ale was really good.  Our culinary expert in the group decided that it would pair well with a pasta with white sauce and seafood or a peppercorn steak with asparagus.  While there were a few snacks long the route, I think we were getting hungry.

La Chouffe – All I wrote is it was very good.  Not sure what it was or why.

Wells – The grand prize of the day goes to this brewery for originality and taste.  They served a Banana Bread Beer.  No JOKE!  It was delicious and honestly tasted like banana bread, not overwhelming but it was there all the same!  We rated it PHENOMENAL!

River City Brewing Company – Out of Sacramento and I had their stout which was a little like having a coffee espresso.

Gold Hill Brewery – Served me something really excellent but all I recall is they are local and goooood.

Mendocino – Very excellent brew but didn’t note the type I had.  We’re getting up there in pours now.

Jack Russell – The White Water Pale Ale was very nice.  I thought it was sharp marketing not to call it Yellow Water or Hydrant Dew or something like that since their mascot is a dog.

Alaskan Brewing Company – All I wrote was Alaskan.  We were by this time chugging and moving quickly from place to place since it was getting close to last call.

Placerville Flowers was pouring beer but what was special about them was their pourers, a pair of very enthusiastic young women who earned our Placerville Brew Fest Spirit Award for 2009. CONGRATULATIONS!

Nectar Ales, Black Diamond – I had their coaster but no notes on what I had or if I liked it!

Nobody won it last year because we just made it up.

The group post-pour

(I will post this pic as soon as I receive permission from my beer fest compadres)

Absolutely the coolest shop in Historic Placerville is the Gothic Rose Antiques & Curiosities.  It is like a museum of the macabre and the mysterious and the odd.  Beautifully decorated with its extensive inventory of dark treasures and curiosities, it could be used as a set in a Harry Potter movie as part of Diagon Alley.  My only disappointment was that the owner was not sponsoring some dark beer as part of the beer fest.  Maybe Black Buttes Porter (an excellent and absent beer) would be a good choice!

Here is a little photo-montage of a small part of the visual delight of this shop that makes the trek to Placerville even more worthwhile.

The Gothic Rose also has an excellent web site at www.gothicroseantiques.com  Don’t miss this place!

The Placerville Brew Fest – Part One The Dreaded Sign In

Well, another fine year for slurping down suds in historic downtown Placerville.  Walking along the streets of “Hangtown” with a small but shapely glass swigging India Pale Ale, Porter, Stout, Lager and everything in between.  It has become an important piece of a my annual recreation. 

But alas, I am sad to report that Hangtown is no longer Hangtown.  A dummy has disappeared that used to hang from a peg outside the “Hangman’s Tree”.   I was told that it was no longer politically correct to hang a dummy, so I guess Placerville is trying to erase its checkered past, boo-hiss-bad show- bad form and all that.  I hope that the unsubstantiated claim is false and that the dummy will again be swinging gaily from the peg next year.  The picture below shows the sad impact of political correctness top is 2009 and the bottom was 2008. 

Or maybe the organizers of the ticket/checking –in/bracelet process were fearful the crowd could get ugly.  We started again at the well-intentioned yet startlingly disorganized City Hall.  In this small room, one must navigate within a 20’x20’ square space defined by folding tables on three sides.  The goal is to get a glass from which to drink many samples of beers, the rest of the process is bureaucratic fluff.

You must first enter and line up calmly and alphabetically suppressing the fear that someone is getting ahead of your in pours.  It is necessary to get into the correct line by last name and there were three lines, two nearly empty and one that was serpentine and growing steadily.  A key problem is that the signs are taped to the front of the tables at waist level – which would be perfect for a dwarf-  but which are invisible to the people in the back of the line. This mayhem was only exacerbated by the fact that nearly everyone waiting for a pink ticket had a last name beginning in the “G-O” grouping which was snarling traffic much like the enthusiastically marketing strippers at a busy intersection near work a few weeks ago.

After being given a pink ticket in exchange for a receipt and proof of ID, you’re given a ticket (pink only here, no blue ticket thank you) which must then be carried to the back of the square space crossing through all of the Alphabet lines.  This is complicated by people with strollers – which brings me to my pet peeve.  Why in the name of hops are parents bringing their kids with them to watch them get sloshed?  I have a message for all the mommies and daddies who think bringing their kids to an event designed to get people drunk is the equivalent of a trip to Disneyland, there’s nothing for kids to do there!  Get a designated driver who can babysit next year you cheap SOB’s!

 So, you have your pink ticket and you’ve stepped on toes and you’ve had yours rolled over by a stroller pushed by some slightly paunchy guy who came last year came with his buddies and danced shirtless to show off his six pack in front of the band with some hot chick named Tami – poor slob, now he’s got the look of a guy who traded his Ugly Stick (fishing pole) for a bassinet and he follows dutifully as his spouse blazes a trail through the crowd. 

So you make it through the thirsty crowd to another line forming awkwardly and perpendicular to the Alpha lines.  Moving through this line, you extend your left arm and a man snaps on a yellow plastic arm band, shuffle left and a lady snips off the excess smartly with scissors, one last shuffle to the promised land and a lady gives you a glass. 

Hurrah!  Point me to the taps.  But wait, now you must cross back through the milling crowd of alpha lines and maneuver around the psychologically distraught blue ticket holders and the alphabetically challenged wandering aimlessly.

I finally made it to the door where my cousin waited for me - very kind of him I thought since he could have had a couple pours while I was in line.  I must say that he was a little smug about his last name starting in V which placed him in the only empty alpha line not to mention beside the wrist band, snipper and glass line.

All the more astounding was the fact that the organizers had learned nothing from the previous year and had not improved the flow or organization.  It was as bad, or worse than the year before so I doff my hat to the committee for its superior consistency.

The first thing that came to my mind when I heard that Michael Jackson had died was, is this for real or a just a publicity stunt?  I thought that perhaps he was finally tired of the spotlight and maybe he’d had more plastic surgery so he could go away forever in hiding where nobody could ever bother him again.

Maybe he did that by dying.  Nobody happy with themselves would ever try to transform themselves in the way that Michael Jackson did with plastic surgery.  His pain was literally written all over his face.  He went from a happy-looking, talented little kid to a Howard Hughes-class recluse.

I feel sorry for Michael Jackson because he was desperately looking for something and he never found it.  Perhaps it was a missing childhood that he apparently tried to experience with boys.  Perhaps it was seeking the love of a father, something that he thought he was giving back to those boys in some twisted way.

There is no doubt in looking back on Michael’s life that pain clouds the view; his pain and the pain he caused for others through his actions.  The pain of the man obscures his accomplishments as a musician in spite of his thrilling musical talent; after all, who lived through the 1980’s that was not impacted by his music in some way?

I am so sad that a man can become so isolated and alone that he can commit such atrocities against himself, and perhaps against others.  I am so sad that like Peter Pan, Michael Jackson never grew up.

Perhaps the ultimate truth of Peter Pan’s story is loneliness.  Perhaps the truth of Peter Pan is that ultimately his isolation is inevitable as those he loves grow up and eventually fail to relate to the child that he remains; that is at least, in the joyful way that another child is able, in the way that Michael seemed to value most. 

Perhaps the intrinsic sadness of Michael Jackson emanated from the transitory form of love that a Peter Pan is capable of experiencing.  Perhaps it emerges from the unchangeable fact that those who Peter Pan truly loves are unstoppably changing - into adults he is incapable of truly loving; and perhaps that lack of capacity is rooted in the fact that he cannot love himself as an adult.

I hear about people celebrating Michael Jackson’s life and I wonder how they are doing that in the face of the miserable loneliness of it.  His celebrity and his talent was no cure for his pain and his death was a predictable end to a terribly sad life.  In the end, Peter Pan could not make the transition from boy to man.  I would not be surprised to learn that it was by his own choices that Michael returned to Neverland.

OK so everybody is sooooooo green now huh?  I say BS!

·         If everyone is so green then where are the bicycle valets?

·         If everyone is so green then why the resistance to taxing the hell out of gas to pay for mass transit?

·         If everyone is so green then where are the protestors whenever a freeway is expanded?  After all a lot of the bailout money from the Feds is going to highway improvement and expansion.  I though Obama was GREENER that Kermit the Frog!

·         If everyone is so green then why are even the hippies living inside sealed homes cooled by AC in the summer when it’s hot?

·         If everyone is so green then why aren’t we remembering to take our Trader Joe’s reusable bags when we go shopping?

·         If everyone is so green then why are the Arabs still so freakin’ rich?

·         If everyone is so green then why are we still buying cheap crap from countries who don’t have an EPA?

·         If everyone is so green then why are the privileged still hiring underprivileged (or illegal) landscapers with gas-driven mowers and blowers?

The list could go on and on and on – maybe you think it already has.

Green is nothing more than a fashion statement.  Until people start dying from global warming, it will remain a fashion thing, nothing more than a “keep up with the Jones’” thing.  It’s not about reducing pollution or saving the Earth, it’s about impressing the neighbors at cocktail parties with rainwater capture systems for watering your oversized lawns and passive water heating systems made of PVC pipes and operated by toxic battery systems.

So is green cool, hip, fashionable, economical, inconvenient, or are you ignoring it altogether like a good Michael Savage Republican?

Well, if Al Gore-ites are right we’ll start dying soon anyway so why respond to green fashionistas?  If Michael Savage-ites are right the green fashion will pass and another cause will eventually emerge.

What will that new fashion statement be?  Hmmm….I wonder.  Perhaps it will be war –related considering all of the unrest in the world.  Or perhaps it will be growing factionalism in the US as people grow poor and fight for position.  I just need to figure it out early so I can corner the market on t-shits.